The mischief of trying to prove the axiom...

I was thinking of the time and energy I have wasted in trying to "prove" to others and to myself the obvious. I think everyone has such a burden that he/she is lifting like another Atlas... I was trying for years to prove that "I am a man". What I didn't realise while I was doing that was the profundity of the fact that in order to be engaged in such a battle of proving the axiom, I was not convinced myself about that. How can you go on a battle with yourself to prove that "you are a man" or "you are a woman" if you in fact don't believe quite the opposite, that "you are not a man" (or at least not man enough) and that "you are not a woman"?

You can build a whole theory by accepting what is given - the axioms, or you can question the given and end up not knowing where the next step will be... It is all a matter of CHOICE really (once more!)

Kind regards to you dear reader...

N.

Blogging and existential loneliness

I was speaking on the phone with a friend the other day... He couldn't quite understand the idea of "blogging" since there is an important question here... Who will be interested in these blogs? If you exclude a small number of friends, who else? This all seems too 'self-centred' to be of interest to others.

He spoke of blogging as a way to tackle existential loneliness. Somebody is out there and I am truly communicating... But is this an illusion? Something to divert me from the path?

Speaking for myself, I understand that writing a diary does not work for me. When I tried it a little voice came from inside saying "you have to publish this", "this is good" or something of the sort... Blogging has kept those creeping little voices away! So blogging can be a way to tackle resistances (well, as well as existential loneliness...:)

Happiness and the meaning of life

After being asked three questions, I thought about posting the answers here...

Are you happy (with your life)?
Well you can say that being joyful is part of my 'core being' although I don't believe that being happy is what life is about... Being in love with life, vibrating, feeling, dancing in the rhythm of life is more of what I believe life is about, even if the rhythm changes and becomes sad or slow or self-destructive or dark and mysterious!!!

Do you see your worth in life?
That's a tricky one because one has to define worth first! The thing is that I started to appreciate me more, recently, finding out I can cope with difficult situations, making more money and having more responsibilities but again this is more of 'ego' stuff which I find very important but not as important as helping or healing people through healing and helping myself. I find this to be 'soul' stuff.

What motivates you day in day out?
Well, this must be the hardest to answer... because I don't think I have reached the point of appreciating the gift of life to its fullest... Life by itself is an excellent motivator, but I find that I am more and more bored. A friend of mine says boredom is a very valuable feeling since it is a motivator of changing things (maybe even perceptions?) So I am still in search of this...

The sting of universal sadness

..There was a man once who was suffering from profound melancholy. He went to see the best doctors of his day and every one of those doctors failed to help him. He finally came to the office of a leading doctor, a healer of the soul. The doctor suggested to his patient that perhaps he could find solace, and the end of his melancholy, in love. The man responded that love was no problem for him, that he was loved perhaps like no one else in the world. The doctor's next suggestion was that maybe the patient should undertake a voyage and see other parts of the world. The man responded that without exaggeration he had been in every corner of the world. The doctor recommended hobbies like the arts, sports, etc. The man responded to every one of his recommendations in the same terms: He had done that and had had no relief. The doctor suspected that the man was possibly an incurable liar. He couldn't have done all those things as he claimed. But being a good healer, the doctor had a final insight.
"Ah!", he exclaimed, "I have the perfect solution for you, sir. You must attend a performance of the greatest comedian of our day. He will delight you to the point where you will forget every twist of your melancholy. You must attend a performance of the Great Garrick!"
The man looked at the doctor with the saddest look you can imagine and said, "Doctor, if that's your recommendation, I am a lost man. I have no cure. I am the Great Garrick!"...

Story taken from 'The Active Side of Infinity' by Carlos Castaneda

Emerald Tablet

Truly, without Deceit, certainly and absolutely

That which is Below corresponds to that which is Above, and that which is Above corresponds to that which is Below, in the accomplishment of the Miracle of One Thing. And just as all things have come from One, through the Mediation of One, so all things follow from this One Thing in the same way.

Its Father is the Sun. Its Mother is the Moon. The Wind has carried it in his Belly. Its Nourishment is the Earth. It is the Father of every completed Thing in the whole World. Its Strength is intact if it is turned towards the Earth. Separate the Earth by Fire: the fine from the gross, gently, and with great skill.

It rises from Earth to Heaven, and then it descends again to the Earth, and receives Power from Above and from Below. Thus you will have the Glory of the whole World. All Obscurity will be clear to you. This is the strong Power of all Power because it overcomes everything fine and penetrates everything solid.

In this way was the World created. From this there will be amazing Applications, because this is the Pattern. Therefore am I called Thrice Greatest Hermes, having the three parts of the Wisdom of the whole World.

Herein have I completely explained the Operation of the Sun.

Preason OR Has Science gone mad?

I know there is no such word as preason... But there is prison and there is reason... And by combining you can reach the status of some modern scientists. Let me explain my line of thinking!

I was reading the other day a respectable science book referring to vision and how art is perceived by the brain... The excerpt I am referring to goes more or less like this:

"But why do we need to see?"

The author after saying how some others might answer this question gives the following answer...

"We see in order to have the ability to acquire knowledge about the world".

And why do I feel offended by such an explanation? Why do I think reason is a prison when trying to expain the inexplicable?

The truth is I find it hard to believe that any human could possible have the answer of "why do we need to see". Maybe I would listen to somebody offering an explanation like that if he/she said that he had contact with more intelligent extra terrestrials or has been "channelling" entities from another plane of existence and that's what they told him... But how unfortunate it is to try to explain the mystery of our world by mere logic and reason. How god-like to offer explanations about things we know nothing about. How can we now the "reason" just by knowing the results? We can say that vision is guided by the brain or anything but how can this be in any way connected to "why" we see?

I could go on and on about this but the important thing is that "reason" is not a panacea. It doesn't hold the keys to every door. It holds the key however to the golden door of its own self-defeat.

Is Decision-Making so easy?

I was thinking about doing my PhD... All those nightmarish figures came up from inside me speaking in unfathomable languages saying...

"Is this something you really want?"
"Does it worth the effort?"
"Does your father approve?"
"Will you be able to co-operate?"
"Have you not had enough of being a pupil-student?"

You can imagine how this goes on... I was in an emotional upheaval... Did I really want to do a PhD? Sure I had proved to myself that I could so now comes the really hard part... CHOICE!

This is what happens in smaller decisions too...

I want to buy a piano. I have the money. For whom do I buy the piano? Do I buy it for my Mommy and my Daddy to say 'Look! I can manage without you!' proving just how not over them I am? Well, I have to make a CHOICE and I have to make a CHOICE for ME which is the hardest of it all!