Ask and it will be granted...

Well after being fed up as I mentioned in my previous blog entry - something opened up... A golden door of some kind. I had a very interesting conversation with a somewhat crazy (well like me) individual. I made some realisations regarding the saboteur... In response to my internal situation with my trickster, this person (George) told me that I reminded him of Janus - the two faced God - with one face being that of Loki! That clicked somewhere and I wanted to search more of these two and this is the reason I provide the links... The discussion on various subjects was productive and deep issues were discussed. It is strange how anger opens new doors for me! A fuel of some sort I guess. It is kind of ask and it will be granted or maybe demand and it will be granted...

Well I feel a new beginning is being made. We'll see how this progresses.

A turn inwards... That's where the true treasure resides...

And a last minute addition... I experienced a deja vu emotion - as though a certain situation and emotion was recurring. That made me think of the "eternal occurence" in the novel "The strange life of Ivan Osokin"... - Ouspensky’s novel is base on the theme of "eternal recurrence." It tells the story of how the young Ivan Osokin is unable to correct his past mistakes, even when given the chance to relive his life. The last chapter powerfully portrays a man’s shock at the realization of his utter mechanicality and characterizes both the promise and the demand of an esoteric school.

What if things are being repeated again and again until action is made to break them? - even if that takes anger and more than a "velvet revolution" to happen.

And a little music addition...

A music addition to my previous blog entry... Seems to fit nicely to the anger associated with everything I described...

What is wrong?

Maybe I am wrong and maybe I ain't...

What I was thinking about and was troubled over in the past few days (or weeks) has to do with human relations and how we communicate... Maybe it is a male thing and again - maybe it isn't. Well in the specific situation - the greek army - it is.

I come to meet interesting guys here which I would have many things to talk about (would I?) if only... The only thing that seems to be of interest is how to meet girls, how to get to know them closer, how to get into bed with them (I am so good aren't I? - not even the world f*** comes out of my mouth). I understand the importance of such an issue but I am really bored because it seems I don't have real connection points. I don't want to go spending so much time of my day about the possibility of having sex any day now...

And then, the misery. It is unbelievable how people get caught up in mind patterns that are self destructive and quite unconscious. I believe (if I am not projecting) that I cannot start a genuine conversation from the heart, since the resistances are great. The greater is not to reveal the truth, whatever that might be. For example, I tried to start a conversation about how it is to be on a leave and I got the answer that it wasn't really a leave since he had to do business... Well OK but 18 days? And this is just an example. I am sick and tired of monotonous mind patterns. I need stimulation!!!

What happens after death?
Why am I here?
How can I perceive?
What can I do to be closer to the purpose of being here?
Am I leaving up to my heart?
What can I do better?
How can I learn more?
What are my faults?
Where am I unconscious - in what mind patterns do I get caught up?

I could go on and on but I am sure you get what I mean...

Read, Hear and See...

It is essential for me to find creative ways to spend time...

This is where I am currently on...

What I am currently reading... The ten principal Upanishads (in Greek)

What I want to see...! It opens in August in the US and I think October in Greece...