I have joined the Greek army... The service is obligatory here... I am in a Greek island and I can only say things are not as heavy as I had imagined them to be. So here is a song that matches my mood from my favorite, Tori Amos.

Bouncing off Clouds (we were)... This is not as heavy as it seems...

Monsters, Dirt and Pulling Things out of the Closet

I had a little more time today and decided to search the Internet... I came up to another one of those Tori excerpts which I find really interesting and useful so I have copied it here! Monsters, dirt and pulling things out of the closet.

I made a decision to stop being unconscious. And how you do that is you give yourself the keys to the unconscious room and you walk in and you go, 'What's up?' and all the little monsters come out with their party hats. [Sacramento Bee - May 8, 1992]

I think there’s so much emphasis on pushing things away, instead of pulling them out of the closet. A lot of times I just notice that people try to hide their dirt for as long as possible. Monsters, dirt, whatever you want to call it, the stuff that you censor and that you don’t really want to share with people. I think you can only do that for so long before you start losing your mind. I’m finding a lot of freedom right now in just looking at things that I really feel. We’re not encouraged to do that, and I think that that’s what makes people sick inside of themselves. You kind of want everybody else to think that you’re okay. Well, you’re okay if you have monsters! That’s what people don’t understand—everybody has many many voices going on inside of themselves. Now there is one voice, though, that is more of the ringleader, more of the innermost voice that isn’t trying to beat you up, or trying to make you feel like you can go slaughter 67 people and it’s okay. You know, the voice in there that goes, “hang on a minute, Tori, we’re really feeling lonely right now.” That inner inner voice is, to me, the most important because it can start being a bridge between all these other voices in your head. Everybody has them.

Flying Dutchman

Do you know the legend of the flying Dutchman? It is what I set out to learn today since I met a Dutchman in my last trip among my many delays... Another twist in the twilight zone! Hear to this...

The Flying Dutchman is a ghost ship that can never go home, but must sail the seven seas forever. The Flying Dutchman is usually spotted from afar, sometimes glowing with ghostly light. If she is hailed by another ship, her crew will often try to send messages to land, to people long since dead.

...The captain swore that he would not retreat in the face of a storm, but would continue his attempt to round the Cape of Good Hope even if it took until Judgment Day. According to other versions, some horrible crime took place on board, or the crew was infected with the plague and not allowed to sail into any port for this reason. Since then, the ship and its crew were doomed to sail forever, never putting in to shore.

And something... why from her of course... hi hi

Take a trip on a rocket ship, baby, where the sea is the sky.
I know the guy who runs the place and he's out of sight.
Flying Dutchman are you out there?
Flying Dutchman are you out there, Flying Dutchman?
Tori Amos, Flying Dutchman

And you said... and you did.

From here crystal meth
In metres of millions
In the end all we have,
soul blueprint.
did we get lost in it
do we conduct a
search for this

"from the other side"
from the other side?
what do they mean
side of what things...

and you said
and you did
and you said
you would find me
here and you said that you would
find me even in Death

"I Can't See New York" by Tori Amos

Boys for Pele

An excellent record that I discovered only recently...

This is what Tori has said for her work on this album.

"I wrote this record because I was trying to fill the void any way I could...After nothing worked --men, food, incredible Chardonnay, shoes-- there was no anchor to hold on to, the old ways didn't work any more. I realised I'd supressed a lot of sides to myself to be loved and understood by men. I didn't want to play seductive little girl or ballbuster any more. With this record I played all those roles until I got to my heart. To find your fire as man or woman you have to take your torch and go to the shadows."
-- Tori, Diva, Feb/Mar 1996

An album filled with pain. But going into the shadows has rewards unimaginable!