When Under Ether

Lately, I find the most incredible meaning and beauty in music... So here it goes. My newly discovered amazing track. Lyrics are very deep in an almost incomprehensible way!

When Under Ether
by PJ Harvey

The ceiling is moving
Moving in time
Like a conveyor belt
Above my eyes

When under ether
The mind comes alive
But conscious of nothing
But the will to survive

I lay on the bed
Waist down undressed
Look up at the ceiling
Feeling happiness

Human kindness

The woman beside me
Is holding my hand
I point at the ceiling
She smiles, so kind

Something's inside me
Unborn and unblessed
Disappears in the ether
This world to the next
Disappears in the ether
One world to the next

Human kindness

Desperado

Beautiful lyrics from a classic song... Full of meaning!

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Following thoughts and internal dialogue

I was following my line of thoughts using a journal. This proved to be a most valuable exercise even for the short number of days I was keeping the journal. I realized that I was not aware of many thoughts that were crossing my mind. Most of them had to do with my false idea of greatness. I compared myself with others and tried to inflate my image to create an image of greatness for myself. Even now as I write these, the great importance of the things I write is coming again to my mechanical mind… It was quite shocking to find that the patterns of thought were repeating themselves mechanically in a most boring and repetitive way. It was the first time that it was so obvious. When images of greatness were not working, images of incompetence seemed to take their place. In any case, not taking these thought processes personally seemed to add an important ingredient in having a proper image of where I currently stand and the work I have to do with myself…

Awareness Test

An interesting awareness test that reminds us of a certain truth!

Watch!!!

http://www.dothetest.co.uk/

Spagyric Dramatherapy

Something interesting that was forwarded to me...

Check it out!

O Superman - O Judge

After taking part in a workshop having to do with the Judge (you know all those little creepy voices saying "You are not good enough!", "You must do as I say!", "People are watching..." among other things) a friend of mine send me the following video by Laurie Anderson. Thanks D.!

O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
O Superman. O judge. O Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad.
Hi. I'm not home right now. But if you want to leave a
message, just start talking at the sound of the tone.
Hello? This is your Mother. Are you there? Are you
coming home?
Hello? Is anybody home? Well, you don't know me,
but I know you.
And I've got a message to give to you.
Here come the planes.
So you better get ready. Ready to go. You can come
as you are, but pay as you go. Pay as you go.

And I said: OK. Who is this really? And the voice said:
This is the hand, the hand that takes. This is the
hand, the hand that takes.
This is the hand, the hand that takes.
Here come the planes.
They're American planes. Made in America.
Smoking or non-smoking?
And the voice said: Neither snow nor rain nor gloom
of night shall stay these couriers from the swift
completion of their appointed rounds.

'Cause when love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justive is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!

So hold me, Mom, in your long arms. So hold me,
Mom, in your long arms.
In your automatic arms. Your electronic arms.
In your arms.
So hold me, Mom, in your long arms.
Your petrochemical arms. Your military arms.
In your electronic arms.

Discuss... Do I?

I was doing research for a paper I am trying to write and came up with the following crazy ideas...

Not being a native English speaker, I must understand the possibly 'light' differences between words before I use them... I do not believe that complete synonyms exist since the use of one word would make the other obsolete... To continue with my original story, I found the difficulty between discourse, deliberate, discuss and consult unbearable. I was ready to explode when the 'flash' came...! The difference lies in the interactivity that each word expresses. "Discuss" has lost its original meaning and I think it has become closer to "talking and listening to myself at the same time". However, the other is not a part of this process. Why else would we need discourse and deliberation? Discussions are becoming more and more like the panels on TV where each one of the 'contestants' lies in his/her little (usually blue) world.

Well, Think About It!

Dream of creation

I wanted to share a very interesting dream... I believe it was Thursday, 00:23-00:26 Eastern European Time...

I wake up inside my dream from a female voice - a rather dark female voice calling me by my name... At first I thought it was my mom (even in my 29th year of age!!!) and I realise that it must be not.. I realise that there is something that the "voice" has to tell me - rather instruct me, but I am not sure I can trust her. I wake up due to my agitation...

It was 00:23. I checked my watch and was sure of that. I go to sleep immediately and I find my self in the beginning of time. There is darkness everywhere. From the darkness, light is being emitted, much like a flame coming from something like a chasm in the darkness. A voice (again!) starts telling me about the universe... "God" in this universe is not the light but darkness (I am agitated as I am writing these!). Darkness was the ruler of this universe. It was the "Anti-God" that brought light. Light was the anti-matter or something for this universe... I remember being told that the theory of the "Big Bang" was wrong. What I saw was more like darkness was giving birth to light (more biblical in a sort of way...!)

Interesting, is it not?

And when I woke up it was 00:26... I thought - that it was quite a journey for the 3 minutes of "sleep" time I had! What a "teleportation"...!

Ask and it will be granted...

Well after being fed up as I mentioned in my previous blog entry - something opened up... A golden door of some kind. I had a very interesting conversation with a somewhat crazy (well like me) individual. I made some realisations regarding the saboteur... In response to my internal situation with my trickster, this person (George) told me that I reminded him of Janus - the two faced God - with one face being that of Loki! That clicked somewhere and I wanted to search more of these two and this is the reason I provide the links... The discussion on various subjects was productive and deep issues were discussed. It is strange how anger opens new doors for me! A fuel of some sort I guess. It is kind of ask and it will be granted or maybe demand and it will be granted...

Well I feel a new beginning is being made. We'll see how this progresses.

A turn inwards... That's where the true treasure resides...

And a last minute addition... I experienced a deja vu emotion - as though a certain situation and emotion was recurring. That made me think of the "eternal occurence" in the novel "The strange life of Ivan Osokin"... - Ouspensky’s novel is base on the theme of "eternal recurrence." It tells the story of how the young Ivan Osokin is unable to correct his past mistakes, even when given the chance to relive his life. The last chapter powerfully portrays a man’s shock at the realization of his utter mechanicality and characterizes both the promise and the demand of an esoteric school.

What if things are being repeated again and again until action is made to break them? - even if that takes anger and more than a "velvet revolution" to happen.

And a little music addition...

A music addition to my previous blog entry... Seems to fit nicely to the anger associated with everything I described...

What is wrong?

Maybe I am wrong and maybe I ain't...

What I was thinking about and was troubled over in the past few days (or weeks) has to do with human relations and how we communicate... Maybe it is a male thing and again - maybe it isn't. Well in the specific situation - the greek army - it is.

I come to meet interesting guys here which I would have many things to talk about (would I?) if only... The only thing that seems to be of interest is how to meet girls, how to get to know them closer, how to get into bed with them (I am so good aren't I? - not even the world f*** comes out of my mouth). I understand the importance of such an issue but I am really bored because it seems I don't have real connection points. I don't want to go spending so much time of my day about the possibility of having sex any day now...

And then, the misery. It is unbelievable how people get caught up in mind patterns that are self destructive and quite unconscious. I believe (if I am not projecting) that I cannot start a genuine conversation from the heart, since the resistances are great. The greater is not to reveal the truth, whatever that might be. For example, I tried to start a conversation about how it is to be on a leave and I got the answer that it wasn't really a leave since he had to do business... Well OK but 18 days? And this is just an example. I am sick and tired of monotonous mind patterns. I need stimulation!!!

What happens after death?
Why am I here?
How can I perceive?
What can I do to be closer to the purpose of being here?
Am I leaving up to my heart?
What can I do better?
How can I learn more?
What are my faults?
Where am I unconscious - in what mind patterns do I get caught up?

I could go on and on but I am sure you get what I mean...

Read, Hear and See...

It is essential for me to find creative ways to spend time...

This is where I am currently on...

What I am currently reading... The ten principal Upanishads (in Greek)

What I want to see...! It opens in August in the US and I think October in Greece...

I have joined the Greek army... The service is obligatory here... I am in a Greek island and I can only say things are not as heavy as I had imagined them to be. So here is a song that matches my mood from my favorite, Tori Amos.

Bouncing off Clouds (we were)... This is not as heavy as it seems...

No Other People

Neil,

Sorry for copying but what you wrote touched me...

I haven't posted about the Virginia Tech shooting, and wasn't going to. But...

I'm in the UK right now, and it's a long way away, and I'm reading about what happened in newspapers... still managing to think of this as something that happened, tragically, to Other People. And then I see this, and my heart sinks, because this is the Michael Bishop who I met in 1999 when we were Guests of Honour at World Horror, whose son was a Sandman fan and oh god, and then I click on this, and I get my nose rubbed hard and painfully in the fact that there are no Other People. It's just us.

Did you hear that guys (and did you Mr. Bush? and did you dear politicians?)... There are no Other People, it's just us...

Bringing it down...

I am currently in a life situation when I am preparing to leave in order to serve the Greek army... What I observed is that I have started bringing down everything my current life consists of in order to be able to leave. I feel as though I am doing others wrong but cannot find an answer to my problem.

Have you felt that in order to leave a place or a life phase you had to devalue everything in your life? How did you handle that?

Parasitic Tactics

I was just reading my horoscope (I am an Aquarius if you want to know...) and it was strange how close this was to what I was thinking in the morning!!! Since the horoscope will be there just for today, I have copied it here:

Popularity is incredibly overrated, so don't base any decisions solely on achieving it! Pleasing the masses is no great feat -- after all, appealing to the lowest common denominator just means that you're expecting the least out of other people, and that's not your philosophy... You will be better off in a small group of like-minded folks than in a huge crowd of sheep.

What I was thinking in the morning had to do with how I caught myself thinking again! I was trying to hide my impulses and my desires in order to be loved (in my day-dream fantasies)... Not again!

It occurs to me that I sell out my desires in order to be loved. By doing that I project a false image - a lie - for others to love. But this lie is not me, so ultimately, what others love (best-case scenario) is not me! (Oh you Prince of Lies, you have made it easy for us to fall into your traps...) Now that I know I have to guard myself against that...

I believe that what most people do (including myself) is trying to please Mommy and Daddy even in their 60s or 80s... You know that doesn't change much as time passes - especially if you don't do something conscious about it. I have to kill this version of Mommy and Daddy that exists within me if I want to be free and ultimately accept me for who I am. I want to let people love me for who I am - Love the true me - a being in constant flux - not the Prince of Lies I project...

Great band, great songs...

I recently discovered this band... Great band, great songs... Just as an introduction, something from Youtube. It is very touching... Actually all of Sigur Ros' music is...

Suck you dry...

A funny picture that uses caustic humor for that which sucks us up and leaves us without energy... Have a look at the picture!!!

VirtualDNA

An interesting site for creating a personal profile and sharing it in your personal blog...

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Couldn't agree more...

A little quote by Albert Einstein which I couldn't agree more with...

"The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth. To make a goal of comfort or happiness has never appealed to me; a system of ethics built on this basis would be sufficient only for a herd of cattle."

Harsh!!!... but true!