Flying Dutchman

Do you know the legend of the flying Dutchman? It is what I set out to learn today since I met a Dutchman in my last trip among my many delays... Another twist in the twilight zone! Hear to this...

The Flying Dutchman is a ghost ship that can never go home, but must sail the seven seas forever. The Flying Dutchman is usually spotted from afar, sometimes glowing with ghostly light. If she is hailed by another ship, her crew will often try to send messages to land, to people long since dead.

...The captain swore that he would not retreat in the face of a storm, but would continue his attempt to round the Cape of Good Hope even if it took until Judgment Day. According to other versions, some horrible crime took place on board, or the crew was infected with the plague and not allowed to sail into any port for this reason. Since then, the ship and its crew were doomed to sail forever, never putting in to shore.

And something... why from her of course... hi hi

Take a trip on a rocket ship, baby, where the sea is the sky.
I know the guy who runs the place and he's out of sight.
Flying Dutchman are you out there?
Flying Dutchman are you out there, Flying Dutchman?
Tori Amos, Flying Dutchman

Into my personal twilight zone

I have entered into what can be relatively accurately be called "personal twilight zone"...

I have submitted my papers to start a PhD at the end of April. I have not received an answer yet.(6 months!) Well the answer is I will start a PhD it's just not official...

I have been working in my present job for about a year and I am 3 months behind in my payments. I cannot pay my bills anymore since I have used my bank account (I have about 100 euros left in four bank accounts!!!)

I was waiting 2 and a half hours yesterday to pay for my social security.

Everything around me is going so slowly... I try to find a reasonable explanation saying it is probably the Saturn return on my astrological map, I should learn how to be patient and so on. However, I am seriously pissed off and don't know what to do... I skipped work yesterday and today to let them know I am not happy with the present situation... This seems to have worked at least for now taking a confirmation that I will be paid. This is however a situation that involves 10 people. I don't think the group is very happy with this...

A question that emerged

I was wondering... Is it irrational that my personal needs (which are not unreasonable) are above the needs of the group? Isn't this the way it is supposed to be? Could I care for the group if I don't make a pause and care about me and my personal welfare? Could there not be significant change if people where being truly 'egotistical' but not irrational? What do you think?

From my personal experience, my brief encounter with the forces that are beyond my control, might have helped others (I mean those at work who are also not getting paid)...

A hidden meaning somewhere

Did I mention in my previous post that Barcelona is extremely sensuous too? I do now...
The hidden meaning I am talking about has to do with my whole day yesterday... Mercury going retrograde and all, I was caught up in a web of delays. Going to the metro station Diagonal to take the metro train, I discovered that due to technical causes the train would delay - there was a 20 minute delay.

Then the train would stop in every station for about 2 minutes (not very likely for a metro train but what can you do - right?) Went to the hotel, packed the bags and back to the metro. Unfortunately the same line did still face problems considering the fact that I did like about 15 minutes for 2 stops!

The Sants-estacion (train station). I get behind a HUGE queue. The train will leave at 17.30. My airplane flies at 18.50. Still manageable somehow... But no, someone has fallen (probably deliberately) in the railway tracks and the trains will have at least 30 minute delay (all that in "sign-language" since Spanish people are not very famous for their knowledge of English...) Taxi is the only way [By the way, I made the acquaintance with a very nice guy here with whom I shared the taxi]

Made it to the airport, made it to the gate – however, there is a 20 minute delay in the flight!

Then I made it to the gate in Roma - The flight gate was changed, but still I got there on time. But no, another 1 hour delay there...

And the last blow. Outside the airport of my home town. A queue of taxis and I am waiting for the taxi to come pick me up. The taxi driver in the cab I am supposed to take is not in the driver's seat. He has gone to piss or something!!! He came quickly but is someone trying to tell me something???????????

Cities have genders and emotions...

I was inspired by an essay I read once by Neil Gaiman. He supports the notion that books have genders. He should know better... After all he is the writer...

This has been working in my mind for some time and now this thought pops up. Well here it goes. I am under the impression that cities have geders. And a dominant emotion. It was a dreary or depressing emotion in Brussels... And its a playful and inventive emotion here in Barcelona that I am visiting for the shortest time ever... 1 and a half days most of them in a conference. But I couldn´t help noticing people, buildings and sensing the emotion they emit...

The only thing with Barcelona is the food... I really don´t like the food here. These people have a real disorientation of taste - sorry guys!

Someone trying to get in...

Last night I had three dreams I remember... The problem is that the two of them had the same pattern. I was trying to protect my house by locking it and drawing curtains and so on. In the first dream there was a hand in the window which scared me into waking up. In the next dream, I went down the stairs (my house was in this dream one with two floors) and I tried to go up and close the door but a guy followed me and tried to grab my glasses. The strange thing was that the door was a saloon door and I told myself I would be brave enough to look him in the face. I did and I woke up...

Interesting eehh? I am in a such a point in my life where I try to take a closer look at my shadow... What other explanation would you give to such repetitive dreams?

And you said... and you did.

From here crystal meth
In metres of millions
In the end all we have,
soul blueprint.
did we get lost in it
do we conduct a
search for this

"from the other side"
from the other side?
what do they mean
side of what things...

and you said
and you did
and you said
you would find me
here and you said that you would
find me even in Death

"I Can't See New York" by Tori Amos

Reopen 911

Because people's reaction counts... visit this interesting site about what has been bugging me for some time now!

A sculpture from Brussels

I went to Brussels last week (didn't I tell you? - whoops) and I took some pictures. There is nothing like feeling the freedom of walking in a foreign land getting to know the place all by myself. I got some depressing vibes from the city. At other times, when the sun was out, it was totally blissful!

Creative Commons Thinking

An interesting reading also (in my 'to do' list) is the following pdf file that was published by the British Council.

Unbounded Freedom - A Guide to Creative Commons Thinking for Cultural Organisations by Rosemary Blecher (0.75MB)

Free Culture

How would a culture be with knowledge available for free? What would be the learning curve of such a culture?

A very interesting piece of reading (available for free ...of course!)

Free Culture by Lawrence Lessig (2,47 MB)

Further 911 questions

This has troubled me for over a two weeks now but it is shocking and it should not be forgotten. I don't want to be a Kassandra but not finding the truth behind such acts of barbarism is a way to allow those responsible to do something like this yet again...

Controlled demolition of World Trade Center 7 building - From what I have found out this was hardly played on the media, although it holds several possible answers.
9/11 Truth: Scott Forbes describes power-downs in WTC.
An orgy of evidence points to an 'Inside Job'.

Can truth really shine when we are up against 'the Matrix'? - I wonder.

What kind of intelligence do you have?

I got kind of jealous on what I read on a friend's blog (jealous me...) so here it goes... The answer to what kind of intelligence I have!!!

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others. Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel. You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations. A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict. You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Purification of the Heart

"Purification begins with the Heart. When the Heart is pure, the body is pure.
When the Heart of mankind is pure, the body of Earth will be pure."

"The Heart that is closed is the door that remains bolted to the Love that is Divine. The Heart that walks open is the Heart that shines Truth. The Heart that shines Truth is the Light on the Way. When will you weary of banging on a bolted and closed door? Be the open door to the Truth that is Light."

The Collective Ascended Masters as channeled by Sharon Shane

911 physics

These sites have only recently entered my level of consciousness and I wanted to share them with you... I was shocked to find such an explanation about what really happened on 9/11 in the WTC. Did you know a third building WTC7 was demolished on the next day after the crash...? How strange... 3 planes crashed in New York 2 on the World trade center and 1 on the pentagon... and 3 buildings were demolished the twin towers and WTC7.

I want to speculate on what happened. Let me elaborate... [This would be a great scenario for a movie! If only it wasn't (most probably) so close to the truth!]

You hire 3 people to hijack and you tell them that you want them to surve a holy purpose. (These have to fit a certain profile of course, muslims - possibly arabs, fanatics and so on). What the people that are hired don't know is that the people hiring them are not who they say they are.

Next step you convince them that they are very important in carrying out the project successfully. For their country's sake... They have to bring down the world trade center which is the symbol of western civilization.

The two of the three are certain for the importance of the plan. However the third one decides that he will serve his country better if he takes down pentagon and not WTC7 which is a small building and not as important as the pentagon. He doesn't inform the people who hired him. He is going to die after all... (The human factor enters the perfect plan)...

The people that hire them don't tell them that they will bring those buildings down anyway because the disaster has to be complete. They need to create terror, fear and panic to do what they were meant to do. Create a new world order. So they put explosives in the building to kill some thousands. Every war has casualties and this is war, right? (in their minds it was war long before 9/11)...

Some links:
An explanatory flash regarding this What really happened??? - This is really a must you should see this!

Physics 911
A scientist's explanation
German Engineers help the USA
911 Physicist Banned from the Classroom
NIST's 3-Year $20,000,000 Cover-Up of the Crime of the Century

A quote:
It is always physically and logistically possible to produce the appearance of a terrorist attack by means that do not employ terrorists, as such. This general principle by no means implies that all terrorist attacks are bogus, only that with appropriate resources, any such attack can be simulated. I will illustrate the principle by laying out a scenario that employs three major elements of deception to simulate the attacks of September 11, 2001. Physics 911

Boys for Pele

An excellent record that I discovered only recently...

This is what Tori has said for her work on this album.

"I wrote this record because I was trying to fill the void any way I could...After nothing worked --men, food, incredible Chardonnay, shoes-- there was no anchor to hold on to, the old ways didn't work any more. I realised I'd supressed a lot of sides to myself to be loved and understood by men. I didn't want to play seductive little girl or ballbuster any more. With this record I played all those roles until I got to my heart. To find your fire as man or woman you have to take your torch and go to the shadows."
-- Tori, Diva, Feb/Mar 1996

An album filled with pain. But going into the shadows has rewards unimaginable!

I want a gun...

Have you happen to see episodes from "LOST - Season 2"? Interesting as it may be, what strikes me is the use of the phrase "I want a gun." Could that depict something from the American Society as it is now? I wouldn't dismiss the idea without any thought...

It's very interesting but also very disturbing the power that a man (or a woman) can draw from a gun. Why is that? I don't like you, I kill you? Is this really a solution to a problem? Macabre...

Check this out... Masks are off!

As I mentioned in a previous post, the work of Alice Miller is trully a very important one... I found in the internet some essays by Arthur Silber on the work of Alice Miller. I think these are really meaningful and can explain part of what is wrong with our society, why this vicious cycle of violence is getting worse and worse...

Violence is a meant to cause obedience... I wonder, are we still our ancestors in our hearts or can we take the risk and change, make a new start? In a path with a heart and not a heartless one like the one that has been going on for many thousands of years...

I think this vicious cycle of hate and hypocrisy (hate disguised as love, judgement disguised as approval, usefulness disguised as friendship, vanity disguised as beauty and so on) has played its role and has served its purpose. Masks are off!

Passing the threshold of becoming of age and the power of words

The leaders of the world and the leaders of destruction think that we are totally 'Lost'. We need a 'father figure' to guide us along the way in the 'best' way possible. So... do war, kill everyone, only the strongest survive, men don't cry, people have different rights according to their religious beliefs... Is that really so?

The abuse of the word terrorist is an abuse of the Word. We have abused our Earth, an aspect of our feminity that has been given as a gift to nourish us. Isn't this Earth an all-encompassing mother? Sure she will lead us to the other side when the time comes - she will become the inevitable grave - but isn't killing children a pre-mature way to die? As if abusing the Earth wasn't enough, we have abused the Word as well... The Word, the gift of our masculinity, is being used in order to lie and hide - not to guide, to light the way, to reveal. The word terrorist is being used for the bully, the Arab, the different person, the outsider. We must do our best to change the way we behave to bring change to our neighbours by changing ourselves. The change spreads in ways never seen before. CHANGE!

Pray that the leaders of destruction will be en-lightened soon because their darkness is great. Pray and do your best in all that you do. Be here, now in this difficult era, to bring peace back to its original essense - not to the meaning that has been distorted... The origin of peace is different than in the compound word 'peace'-makers which has come to mean war-makers. 'Terror'ist is he who creates terror in the lives of other people. Nations that have the ability to create war to take advantage of the rest of the world are creating 'terror' for the people they exploit and the people they drag along in this petty game of hate and greed.

Don't be fulled. This is a time when wolfs have learned well how to disguise themselves as sheep. But the fact remains that the Truth cannot be hidden for very long.

In a war all sides suffer. Do we really want this? Do we have a saying in what is happening around us? If we do, let us speak. Let us pray. Let us cry. Let us be...

Never the following words have been more relevant than they are today:

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one.

'Imagine', Lyrics by John Lennon

We have the strength to shape the world. All we have to do is take the responsibility to change personally. Take the responsibility of 'growing-up'. Everything is not 'all right', don't fool yourself.

Wounds that connect people...

Wounds can connect people... Do you know that? I have seen that I carry a knife stabbed on my stomach and maybe you carry the same knife... I feel a strange connection going there...

By the way do you know what our greatest wound is?
Mary... The feminine side is suffering... And she doesn't go down alone. If you can't listen - a feminine function, how can you really communicate? How can you really talk?

With all that is going on in Lebanon, I think we need to reconsider what a real man is... Is it the one who can make a gun, who goes to war, he who can kill, he who can take a whore? If there was a war between the sexes there would be no people left... And there is a war going on - Mary needs to save us and we need to save her. Listen to one another, from the heart... Without fear of being lesser men if we do...

Stop the war... I am getting sick... Mary more so.

Lyrics from Joe Jackson's 'Real Men' have been used in this post!

Not wanting anything...

I found something while I was reading again that I believe it to be 'applicable' to my 'situation'!!! This has a lot to do with my previous post also so once again I am referring to somebody else's words who seems to have said it wonderfully!!!

"...Don Juan had once told me that I was afraid of people and had learned to defend myself by not wanting anything. He said that not wanting anything was a warrior's finest achievement. In my stupidity, however, I had enlarged the sensation of not wanting anything and made it lapse into not liking anything. Thus my life was boring and empty."

The above excerpt is from Tales of Power by Carlos Castaneda (re-reading it for the third time!). I believe this is a common trap, we confuse not wanting anything to not loving anything which is an all or nothing trap! Not wanting anything is actually a life achievement since I believe the 'soul' is like a magnet that attracts all that is needed for its purpose, while the ego intervenes in the 'soul' wanting more and more and never being quite satisfied with anything!